Things you can’t leave behind

Second blog

Stardate September 22, 2010
Equinox 2010

The way I live, the way my mind works, the world around me…there is so much fodder, it is challenging to pick one thing to write about.

Since I returned to the mainland, I have been shredding old papers and files, and uncluttering. It’s a process, and cannot be rushed. It happens in spurts. Basically as it is now ALL of my belongings fit in my car and there would be room for a passenger.

And still, it feels like too much…because I cannot carry it all in my hands and am desiring to go back to Hawaii to live….longer this time. It's the lifestyle; the daily fruit I eat, the daily healthy activities I do, the magnificent ocean & mountains, and of course the people. The fragrant air, the stars, the relaxed pace...okay, there is no such place as paradise. We create and choose that with our minds and hearts.

Precious books on subjects that are difficult to find (all non-fiction types), and gear for my favourite activities (lifestyle) take up space:

~ yoga mats, clothes and notes & books
~ sailing gear for all seasons and books (just a few)
~ karate (clothing and a couple of books)
~ figure skating (just really great pair of skates made in England & the blades from Italy)
~ beading, paper-making, bookbinding and other crafts (although much of this shtuff has been given away) tools and supplies.

Of course there’s the laptop and external harddrives and graphics tablet. My office/business, my entertainment, my virtual life.

Clothes.
Not a ridiculous amount, however stuff for all seasons, including coats, jackets, raincoats, boots, sneakers, shoes, flipflops and hiking gear/wear.

What I would need in a tropical place of clothing is not much of all this weight.
What I would need to live (anywhere), belongings necessary, are a lot of these thingies.
Hmmmm, I need a Sherpa!

What do I do with old journals of years gone past? I wish they were all electronic, alas, they’re not.

One day, when I figure out how to use BumGlue (trademarked by Savant authors) I will be writing my story/stories. I may need to refer to those journals. Perhaps though remembering anything as I will even if it turns to fiction, my mind makes it real (as per Morpheus on The Matrix). Hahaha!

What to take and what to donate…that is again the question.
Maybe there will come a day when I can keep my belongings, and maybe none of that matters. I relish the thought of being so detached to material possessions that I would not even miss a thing.

A friend recently asked me a few really good questions:

What is on the other side when I break a limit (i.e. in dance)?

How do I let go and move & travel even with the profound in-the-moment attachment and intimacy I have with people? Leaving everyone behind…even though I love them.

I glide easily into various lives and places and feel like I have always been there and that I will always be there.

It’s all an emotional rollercoaster ride.
Certainly, not for the feint of heart .

It feels like I’m an explorer of this life and there is no rest, not even in my sleep. What little I get is jam packed with action dreams and deep feelings. Exhausting!

So…
What to leave behind.
What is irreplaceable.
What is absolutely necessary for day to day living doing the work I love and the leisure activities I love.

Hmmm…

Exhilarating.
Frightening.
I am perched on the edge of the proverbial cliff ready to leap again.