Authenticity, integrity, compassion...you know, the little things!

Stardate: November Twenty-fifth, Twenty-ten

No amount of yoga philosophy books will teach one to be aware, present, forgiving, accepting, caring and loving from an authentic place. Perhaps this is why there are so many books and so few people with natural integrity. 

Which brings to mind (and heart): what good are self-help books?

Too many just learn to manipulte the language.

They sure sound good, enlightened, progressive...

These words are tossed around enough, huge signs are emblazoned with them, they are in mission and vision statements, and yet...where oh where are these ways of being to be truly found. So much so that the person one is relating to can just stand in the fire of the conversation or the situation and not cower. With such abandonment it leaves one with the feeling of, "I'm not safe". Not safe to express and be oneself.

See I'm far from so evolved, perfect or any such lofty ideals, what I am is always being real, always loving and always open...open to listen, open to see, open to feel. Open.

Also I tend to put my quirks on the table. Why wait? (Hahaha!)

If I had a nickle for every time someone asked me, "Are you always this happy?" Truth is is that I'm not that happy, let alone always happy. I am just being present with whomever I am sharing a moment with, be it a cashier, a house-mate, a stranger, a friend. Everyone gets the same treatment. Same.

This has been and still is quite disconcerting to many people. 
You know, grown ups. 
Kids are into it. They have no use for masks....yet.

Oh and if I had a nickle for every time I met someone that preached compassion et al, and was an absolute..ahem!..well, I'd be quite rich. This used to shock me, and now it shocks me when I met a genuine person. One who is whole and complete. One who is unafraid to speak their heart, and stay with it, with me, with others...


People are magnetized to the joy-full ones and then proceed with the destruction of that unbridled bliss. The cutting down of the dreams, ideas, musings, and high energy. They couldn't handle it! It's not their fault, it's society...as a dear friend used to state often. Hee, hee! 

Well, it is their fault. 

I'm so done with those who pretend to be open, who pretend they have energy, who pretend they accept people as they are. Those that pretend they have integrity are the worst. They talk the talk and cannot (or will not) walk the walk. So busy playing the game of dog eat dog...to get their piece before there's nothing left. What is forgotten is many more pies can be created. I have left many an organization that sure sounded on the up-and-up, and they were no different than most every where. Just as dirty, just as empty.
Incongruent! 


This is crazy-making.


My wise brother once told me, "People are who they were when they were 8." Of course I debated that with him, and he wouldn't budge. So I did what I do. I spent days contemplating it, turning it over, swimming in it, talking to others about it. And then, I realized, he was absolutely right. One's default character, the one when put under stress, is the person one has always been. This is why even humanitarian organizations cannot even get along with each other, let alone be supremely good to their own families and friends.


Oh the things/people I've seen and the experiences I've had.
I will not allow sarcasm and cynicism to infiltrate. Sneaky buggers.
I know that I am okay. :)


May you find you are winning this battle as well.


As usual this comes to you unedited, unfiltred.
Do lend me your thoughts if you feel so inclined.

Love does not discern...cliques suck!

My voice mail message is:

“You love one person and that love leads you to hundreds.”

I forget where that quote came from, and that is no matter. I identify with it.

How can one say I love so and so and I hate so and so?

This is senseless.

Love does not discern.

I’m not so interested in the one-to-one relationship, often sacrificing it for some higher purpose or calling. This may sound lofty or even saint-like, and I assure you it isn’t. Hahaha! My callings are huge, loud and multi-coloured. Definitely not for the feint of heart. I frighten myself at every turn. There are countless moments where I have asked myself, “Where am I going?”, “What am I doing?”, and of course the simple one, “Why?”

I’m being facetious.

There is nothing simple about anything I think nor do.

Here’s the heart of today’s writing:

Cliques/clans/groups and outsiders/travelers/explorers.

A close friend insisted I take his copy of “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” with me on this part of my journey; back to Hawai’i. From the very first paragraph I came unraveled. Not hard to do, as my emotions are on high. I read each line slowly and deliberately and some of them many times over. Yes, I related to that bird. Jonathan just wanted to go beyond the limits, see what there is to learn and then share it with the flock. This was not a selfish act, however everyone looked at him like he was a weirdo and banished him from the clan. They couldn’t understand why he could not just be normal and fly to eat – their only reason for flying. Jon couldn’t understand how they could all be so complacent and not want to see what was possible. He would learn for them all, and then show them.

Well, what can I say? Jonathan is like all of us so called rebels, a.k.a. heretics, outsiders, etc. Sure we want to belong, and sure we want t share all we’ve learnt, and we are just not accepted because…well, because we are “different”.

I, for one, always have my antennae up for like-minded individuals. If I couldn’t find them in my travels, I would never have a chance to feel normal and safe.

Having made peace with solitude and born with the gift of self-entertainment, I do not want nor desire much. Sitting by water, hiking up to a view point, a slow beach walk, large empty spaces to run, spin, jump and be silly, gymnastic bars at the park…all are equally good for rejuvination. Oh, and a great conversation. I live for those.

Here in the magical land of aloha, there is great opportunity. My mind is just starting to wrap itself around the recurring thought, “I live here!”. It took a while to land….and still. The almost 7 months I spent here this year already was to be temporary and now it’s a whole different world/mind-set. I may need to (re)mention here that I have not had a fixed address in about 15 years (live-aboard, house-sitting, travel, sailing, exploring).

If I can stay put for one year, I will know that I have arrived…so to speak. ☺

May you remember that you get to choose JOY and with that attitude, almost nothing is impossible.

Until the next transmission, love and be lovable. :)